感受

好久。。好久没来这里了。。。今晚忽然间想来看看以前写的东西。。。

时间过得好快！我已经教了一年多了。看到一年多前我所写的部落各，我发觉。。。我已长大了。

以前，心情不好时，就会在部落各诉说我的感受。有时候边写。。。边哭。可是，经过时间的磨练，我已学会容忍。。就算遇到不开心的事，也会一笑而过。是因为麻木了吗？还是懂事了？我也不知道。。

现在的我，时间还是过得非常充实。音乐和工作还是我生命中重要的事。

奇怪的是，虽然过了一年，但有些伤感依然还是那么强烈，就像昨天刚发生的一样。。。

尤其是那天，一个人经过那里，忽然间想起一些画面。。感觉就像喝下“蜜糖苦瓜汁”，起初甜甜的，接着。。苦苦的“味道”就来了。而苦的味道。。一直都没散。。。。。

我是不是很傻？可能人家肯本就把我从记忆里删除了。。。为什么我还那么执著？

说真的，有时我真需要一个可以信赖。。可以依靠的肩膀。。。。。

没关系。。。看开点，乐观点。。。就没事了。

Feelings

It has been a few weeks since i last updated my blog..=p Simply too tired and no time to update!

Finally, can take a short break tonight...but a really SHORT one! Hahaha...
Was rushing to finish my drawings last night till 1am. Submitted for approval today and i can continue with my colouring!! YEAH! I like to draw and colour...although very ugly, I just enjoy doing so. (Of course, it would be so much more enjoyable if no deadlines were given...but tats impossible!) Hahaha...

Feeling very tired today, I left my center around 8pm...considered very early to me as compared to the days in HQ where I usually stayed till 10pm +. This morning we all went back to HQ as usual...always looked forward to Wed so tat I can go find all my "Kakis"!! They are undergoing training now..quite intense. Seeing them just reminds me of those days when i was in HQ undergoing training. But somehow, I felt tat they r not as stress as I was tat time...maybe they r good in their Language and more confident than I am...tats y....

We and J went to have MAC for lunch...while H and Z went lunch with their boss (Boss's treat!!) How good! =( Nevertheless, we chit chat while doing materials...had a great time laughing and joking!! hahaha...really miss those moments. J will be graduating soon! How fast! Still remembered the 1st day when she came....we all thought she was kind of cool...but end up to be as crazy as we r!! Hahaha...Time really flies..and for myself, I will be confirmed next mon..Without noticing, I have been in this organisation for almost 3 months! WOW...amazing...=D

Term break is coming...dunno if I can take a few days off! How i wish I could just do nothing but eat and sleep throughout the day...Planning to go Bintan for a short trip with Gemileos! Gemileo Chan will be back from Taiwan tml!!! Yeah!! I want to go for a REAL holiday...places like Korea, Japan (Very expensive!) Taiwan or HK. Just let me dream of it tonight....Hee...hee...

Now, career has been my top priority. As mentioned many...many times in my previous blog...I'm very very happy to find something I really enjoy doing as my career (although pay wise is another issue). Honestly, not everyone can achieve this. And I dun wish...neither do i intend to give up so easily...Hence, my focus now is work....work...and still....work. I want to give my best in it. Close friends all advice me is not so healthy as I'm compromising my personal life, esp in terms of relationship. Now, I'm d only "single and available" among the Gemileos.

Part of the reason for staying single and available now is largely due to work. However, a percentage of the reason is ...I'm not ready for a relationship yet. Or rather, I'm not ready to have trust in any person currently...reason being.......Hmm...dunno how to say and also dun wish to say.....

I know I have to come out of the circle that I have drew for myself. But it will take sometimes...to regain my trust in anyone again.....

All right, enough rubbish for tonight! Tml I'm seeing my "babies" again!! Have 2 classes tml!! Yeah!! Really....really missed them!

Good night! =)

=)

It has been almost 2 weeks since I started teaching in my own center. Colleagues there are good. =) But sometimes, I still miss the days in HQ.

Last week, my trainer came to observe my class. It was the 1st time she observed my class in my own center...very nervous as usual. And again, made some mistakes here and there. However, I'm now learning to accept my mistakes and learnt from them. Nevertheless, she said some encouraging words...which really made my day! =)

Although it's really tiring, especially on weekends where I have a full day class, the satisfaction I got from this job is something money can't buy. I really enjoy teaching my own students and look forward to hug them at the end of every class. Tat day, a little girl kissed me after our class ended...tat really...really...touched my heart! ='''') It made me realized tat all the sacrifice I made was definately worth it!!

Right now, I'm embarking a journey of challenges ahead...and so far, I can say tat I have no regrets! =)

~Cheers~

*Anxious*

Today is the day I officially report to my own center. Was at HQ in the morning...observation...lunch...chit chat...jokes with colleagues as per normal...or at least wat I tot should be normal...until the time when I was about to leave HQ for my own center in the afternoon. Without anyone noticing, I went into my trainer's room and left a "Thank You" card on her table. And while i was packing my stuff to bring over...suddenly...there was a sour feeling rushing up from my throat to my nose...and tears rolled down uncontrollably..i can't hide my feelings anymore...

Not wanting anyone to notice that I'm actually crying...i dashed to the washroom and stayed there for quite a while. Finally, managed to settle down and continue packing and say bye to everyone there. It's really a terrible feeling....i dun like to say goodbye.

Reached my center, this is the place where I shall be from now on. My colleague over there bought a gift for me (Labour day gift)....really touched!! At least it made me feel more comfortable. However, tat happiness did not last. I got to know that our admin staff is leaving...due to some reason...which brought my morale down again...hai...but...I can't let this affect me. This is the career i want..I must go all out for it! No matter wat happens...

All right, sad things aside, I'm going to have my very 1st own class this coming fri!! Very excited...and nervous. Previously, my trainer will be there to observe every one of my actual class. But now....I will be handling everything by myself. It's quite a nervous experience. I will do my best! Cannot let myself and others down. =) Which mean practises...practises..and more practises from wed onwards.

I am not sure wat will be down the road...but one thing I"m sure is...I'm already stepping on a stone. =)

Graduated

Yes..I 've graduated yesterday. Had my demo class around 1.30pm yesterday...my last demo. It was the toughest demo as there was a question and ans part towards the end...really nervous! But managed to ans almost every question...actually all extracted directly from notes! hahaha..hope they din spot that.

Then, took my theory test at around 4pm plus..it was tedious in a way. Coz need to write pages and pages of words for 2 hours continuously! Very tiring..it had been a long time since I have taken a test like this. It's even more tedious den demo. But luckily....I've PASSED!! =D So do not need to re-take! *Phew*

Finally...when everything had ended...i realised im left with no energy... joined my colleague and continue doing my materials..but at least with no burden of test. Went down to have dinner with the rest around 9pm plus...den continue with my stuff. Had a great time laughing while watching some Youtube videos with all of them. Unconsiously, I stayed till 1am plus again...

Will be reporting to my centre directly from next week onwards...no matter how 不舍得 I am...still...i got to go. Life moves on. =) Not forgetting those who gave precious comments to help me improve, as well as those who have been always there to help me.

Although I have "graduated", I will still continue to improve my language and read up on the relevant areas. Coz...this is the career I want....

Busy...busy...

Just met my ex-colleague for lunch to catch up with them. Went to Koshinbo for the 1-hour buffet lunch....quite a wide variety of choices but too little time to finish trying all the food. Wasted...hahaha...

Have been busy preparing my theory test and worrying about my classes these few days. I can't remember when was d last time I ever studied so hard. Hahaha...

Last Sunday, I stayed at HQ till 2am. Dunno y I just feel like staying there and help out, as well as to practise my stuff. Perhaps is because this shall be the last week I will be there (most probably). It's a strange feeling...actually I dun dislike the place which I will be posted to, and new colleagues are quite nice people too. Just got this feeling of great attachment to HQ...maybe is because I have been there since the very 1st day of work. And most importantly, nice and fun people there.

This week will be a very stressful week for me. Besides having to cope with theory test, I will be having my last demo class, as well as 2-3 actual classes. Hope I will able to do my best. =)

Take care everyone!

Can't think of a title...

Initially, this blog served as a channel for me to pour all my sorrows, share my happiness and talk rubbish. I didn't expect anybody will be interested to read it. Hahaha...but really surprised that there are actually people I dun really know reading my blog! Thanks Anonymous and Ashley. Although I might not have seen u all before, but really glad to receive your comments and support! =)

This week has been quite a relax week for me coz no demo classes. But got to prepare for my theory test, as well as more demo and actual classes next week. Sad to say...im leaving HQ soon. Honestly, I'm a person who dun like changes. Once i got used to the environment/ people, making changes is quite challenging for me. I suppose is because im an emotional person. Now, I have already "fallen-in-love" with the environment and people at HQ. Just afraid that I might not be able to control my tears on my last day there. I will miss everyone...everything there...esp my trainer. If not for her, I dun think I will ever improve my language. Although she is very strict and sometimes- very fierce, just dunno y I kind of admire her. Please dun get the wrong ideal ok? Is only trainee admiring and respecting a trainer...no other meanings! Hahaha...Perhaps this is something call fate.

A new trainee has came in since yesterday. Her fluency in the Language in much better than me...from the way she speaks. That inevitably put some pressure on me. Nevertherless, I wun give up, this will only drive me to work even harder and buck up. I know where I am standing...but just like what other colleagues and my trainer told me, it's never too late to learn, and it's better late than never! Will always remember that...Anyway, this new gal has been quite friendly and we can get along quite well. =)

Ever since i started this job, I have almost devoted 95% of my time in it. I have been doing research online in the relevant areas, practising and even thinking of work at home. So much so that I even dream of my work. But I dun find it tedious. Actually, to my surprise, I dun know where do I get all my energy from. Perhaps this is where I should be doing long time ago...perhaps this is what I call my passion....

Take care everyone! =)